Only On Loan:
Notes From a Journal Edged in Black

by Yvonne K. Pitts


Buy Books on the web.com, 1999. ISBN 074140088X.
Reviewed by Lee Ambrose
Posted on 02/13/2006

Nonfiction: Memoir; Nonfiction: Relationships; Nonfiction: Body Language

Only On Loan is Yvonne Pitts' first book. Using notes from her journal over a number of years, Pitts allows her readers to enter into that oft times private world of inner thoughts and feelings. It takes a brave woman to put her journal pages out in front for others to read. But it took an even braver woman to face the challenges of dealing with the life and death situations she faced with her son Jason.

Readers will experience the highs and lows, the joys and the heartbreaks of being a mother in commonplace situations with less than common circumstances. Birthdays, Christmases, first day at school... All are landmarks for every child and for the mother who nurtures that child. But, for Yvonne, each milestone was overshadowed by the knowledge that it might be the last. She was praying each time with all the faith she could muster that she would be allowed to watch many more milestone achievements in Jason's life. In all, Pitts was blessed with ten years of milestones and countless opportunities to share her love with Jason. Ten years where each day was both borrowed time and a blessing. Ten years where each day would never be enough but had to be just that—enough. Ten years to shower her son with all the love a mother's heart can provide in a lifetime. Pitts does so with grace and humility. Likewise, she shares her path with an uncommon measure of that same grace and humility.

Born with an often fatal heart abnormality, Jason lived a life that was measured in days—each one more precious than the last. Pitts' journal is rich with the tears of a mother's heart. It is steadfast in the faith to which she clung as she worked her way through this rocky terrain called life. Pitts' family included two other sons, Brent and Eric, one older and one younger than Jason. The challenges of raising three small boys are great enough under normal circumstances. The challenges of dealing with the far from normal circumstances surrounding Jason's health issues were sometimes insurmountable.

By her own admission, her efforts to deal with her grief over the loss of her middle son prevented her from being the mother she wanted to be to her two other sons. But the completion of Only On Loan has allowed her to put the past and the loss in perspective and move forward. Far more importantly, the completion of Only On Loan has presented the reading public with a testament to faith and the enduring human spirit. Pitts' candid journal entries are priceless bits of love in action, faith in action, joy and pain.

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